Chicken Strippers and Chicken Strips

Strippers dressed as chickens at a strip club that only serves chicken strips!

Tracy Morgan, you can not steal this idea!

Lions and Tigers and Satanic Rams

Ebay has totally ruined me for shopping in normal brick and mortar stores. If I walked into a store and was like 'Hey salesperson, I'm going to give you a really vagure idea of what I'm looking for, and I want you to bring me 200 things at a bunch of different prices', they would be like 'Fuck you.'

Not Ebay! Ebay will bring me everything related to 'Navajo leather animal shoes' or 'Space age knitted purse neon' with nary a complaint. Sweet!

I just got these two gems in the mail yesterday...The seller was listing the necklace as 'Old UGLY Satanic Ram Goat Charm' (no joke), so it's not really a surprise that I was the only bidder. I'll let you guess what exactly I was searching for to come up with that result!

Not so macho men

When I worked in a record store, I came across many gems in the $1 used vinyl bin.
When I came across this, I knew I had to take it home, if just for the cover alone...

Apparently in 1981, The Village People hung up their cowboy and cop uniforms, and morphed into glam gigolos from outer space with strangely placed beauty marks. A surprisingly good look!

And even more surprisingly, the album has some killer songs! You won't see your grandma dancing to any of these tracks at an upcoming wedding...unless you read this and are getting married and want to play something way more awesome than the YMCA!

'Food Fight' is the best track, a crazy punk song with an amazingly catchy keyboard riff that sounds like like Geza X and Weird Al rocking out.

Food Fight - Village People

Before this album, the only good moment of the Village People's career was this...

So throw down a dollar and find this album at a garage sale near you!

Incest, Poison Cookies, and Attic FUN!

Sign me up!!

Risky Business

Do you like how I took my outfits from casual to BUSINESS casual by just adding a blazer? The only thing better would be if I worked from home and could wear old sweatpants every day! Bring on the faxes!

Pinball and Burning Man Style Hangovers

Maybe burning man is my true fashion calling! GLOWSTICKS!

I have an over abundance of felt at my house, which means any costumed occasion becomes a felt occasion. FELT!





This is what I looked like the next morning (the one on the left):

Sex on FIRE

Zestra- DON'T DO IT.

Seriously ladies...totally as bad as this song.

Let's Romp Around in the Hay!

Outfit Inspiration:

Dr. Quinn and this sexy beast!!


Dr. Doolittle circa 1967, Rex Harrison, not Eddie Murphy!




and HIPPOS!





See if you can find all the animals; 2 wombats, a sloth, and an anteater!! OH MY! Freakyanimaltime!

Urban Dictionary: I'm ADDICTED

Urban Dictionary is probably the best waste of time, EVER!!! Look up your name, look up your friend's name, look up your freaking third cousins name - GO Wild!

These definitions I found the best fitting for Lisa and I. Please note entries are copied straight from Urban Dictionary with no proofing or editing! They are the real deal, dawg!

Lisa:

a freakin AMAZING chica...anything but unattractive. Hell she is totally far from that. Can we say delilctible....Loves chinese food and tattoos. Loves moths doing there own kamakaze suicide atempts into flames. Usually a very good speller. And loves her little, should be, foreign car. And is always ready for a fun time.

Lisa: Whats another name for me?
Dustin: Delictable comes to mind.
Lisa: Hmmmm. I like it. Lets go get chinese and tats.

Lauren:

a blonde, drunk, chinchilla loving girl, who enjoys four dollar wine.

"yo check out the girl passed out in the hall way"
"Bro she is such a lauren"
"well what the hell was she drinking tonight?"
"boxed wine"

HEY! Do you have an extra 200-400 bucks? Want to buy me a present?

I'll take a pair of these Swedish Hasbeens please....Or these Rachel Comey clogs would be fine...

And I want these Boutique 9 boots too!!!

If you want to get Lauren a present, you can get her these Alexander Wang boots. But she better never wear them around me, because I might throw up on her feet and ruin them.

Freak Nasty Valentine's Day Cards

For Someone SPECIAL or Someone NOT so SPECIAL but HOTTTTT!!

Mummy Madness

I am completely obsessed with Egyptian revival jewelry. So, when I spied an amazingly huge King Tut pendant at the Salvation Army during a recent trip home, I nearly passed out with excitement. When I asked to see it, the woman working said 'Damn girl, you got expensive taste!', as she pulled out the necklace. I was laughing to myself, because for a thrift store in Northern California, 5 dollars is expensive.




It was amazing, absolutely perfect. And 125 dollars.

I almost had a heart attack. I considered grabbing it and running out the door, but I didn't want to end up as a pathetic headline in the local paper the next day.

The clerk went on to joke about how her boss was crazy, there was no way it was worth so much money, and who would want such a gaudy, ugly necklace anyways?

ME. I wanted it horribly. But there was no way I was paying that much for something from a thrift store that was currently running a '99 cents for all clothing' promotion.

Leaving without it, I did some research, and discovered it was made by Eisenberg Jewelry in the 70s, and it was indeed worth at least 200 bucks.

But really, who is going to wander in there and know that?!
-Lisa